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MY PRIVATE PART DIED

An old man, Mr. Wallace, was living in a nursing home.
One day he appeared to be very sad and depressed.
Nurse Tracy asked him if there was anything wrong.
‘Yes, Nurse Tracy,’ said Mr. Wallace.
‘My Private Part died today, and I am very sad.’
Knowing her patients were a little forgetful and sometimes a
little crazy, she replied,
‘Oh, I’m so sorry, Mr. Wallace.
Please accept my condolences.’
The following day, Mr. Wallace was walking down the hall
with his Private Part hanging out of his pajamas.
He met Nurse Tracy.
‘Mr. Wallace,’ she said, ‘You shouldn’t be walking down the hall like that.
Please put your Private Part back inside your pajamas.’
‘But, Nurse Tracy I can’t,’ replied Mr. Wallace. ‘I told you
yesterday that my Private Part died.’
‘Yes,’ said Nurse Tracy, ‘you did tell me that, but why is it
hanging out of your pajamas?’
‘Well,’ he replied, ‘Today is the viewing.’

A Clever Patient

A Doctor was not having good number of patient to survive so he decided to make
it something attractive and so hanged a board outside the clinic:

Any treatment in Rs.300/- & if we cant treat, we will pay you back Rs.1000/-

A CLEVER person thought he will make Doctor fool and comes to do fraud & thinking to get 1Rs.1000.

He says to the Doctor: I cant feel any taste on my tongue…

Doctor asks the Nurse to put few drops of medicine from box no 22.
After that the MAN shouts: “What d _____ …its URINE!!
The Doctor says congratulations your sense of taste is back now.

The CLEVER person was angry as he lost Rs.300.

After 2 weeks the same CLEVER person comes back again & this time he thinks to get back his previous 300 too.

CLEVER person : I’ve lost my memory.
Doctor: Nurse! please put some drops of medicine from Box no 22 on his tongue.

CLEVER person: Wait but that medicine is for sense of taste.
Doctor: Congratulations your memory is back.

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children…

A lawyer had a wife and 12 children and needed to move as his rental agreement was coming to an end for the home where he lived but was having difficulty in finding a new home.

When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him because they knew that the children would destroy the home.

He could not say that he had no children, he could not lie, after all, lawyers can not and do not lie. So, he had an idea : he sent his wife for a walk to the cemetery with 11 children. He took the remaining one with him to see homes with the Real Estate Agent.

He liked one of the homes and the agent asked, “How many children do you have ?”

He answered, “12 children.”

The agent asked, “Where are the others ?”

The lawyer answered, with a sad look, “They are in the cemetery with their mother.”

And that’s the way he was able to rent a home for his family without lying.

MORAL: It is not necessary to lie, one only has to choose the right words.
Lawyers don’t lie …they are creative

He Was Called The “Dumbest Kid In The World,” But No One Expected Him To Say THIS

kid

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two-quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!”

Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store.

“Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?”

The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!”

kid1

(source)

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