The Cutest Smartest Dog Ever. [via]
The Cutest Smartest Dog Ever. [via]
Three desperately ill men met with their doctor one day to discuss their options. One was an alcoholic, one was a chain smoker, and one was a homosexual sex addict.
The doctor, addressing all three of them, said, “If any of you indulge in your vices one more time, you will surely die.”
The men left the doctor’s office, each convinced that he would never again indulge himself in his vice.
While walking toward the subway for their return trip to the suburbs, they passed a bar. The alcoholic, hearing the loud music and seeing the lights, could not stop himself. His buddies accompanied him into the bar, where he had a shot of whiskey. No sooner had he replaced the shot glass on the bar, he fell off his stool, stone cold dead.
His companions, somewhat shaken up, left the bar, realizing how seriously they must take the doctor’s words.
As they walked along, they came upon a cigarette butt lying on the ground, still burning. The homosexual looked at the chain smoker and said, “If you bend over to pick that up, we’re both dead.”
A husband loves his mate
After being married for thirty years….a wife asked her husband to describe her.
He looked at her slowly…then said, “You’re A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H…. I, J, K.”
She asks….. “What does that mean?”
He said, “Adorable, Beautiful, Cute, Delightful, Elegant, Foxy, Gorgeous, Hot.
She smiled happily and said….”Oh, that’s so lovely….. What about I, J, K?”
He said, “I’m Just Kidding!”
His eye is still swollen….but it will get better………….
An old married couple is traveling by car. Being seniors, after almost eleven hours on the road, they were too tired to continue and decided to take a room. But, they only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they checked out four hours later, the desk clerk handed them a bill for $350.00.
The man explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He told the clerk although it’s a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren’t worth $350.00 for four hours. Then the clerk tells him that $350.00 is the ‘standard rate’. He insisted on speaking to the Manager.
The Manager appears, listens to him, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference centre that were available for us to use.
“But we didn’t use them,” the husband said.
“Well, they are here, and you could have,” explained the Manager.
The Manager went on to explain that the couple could also have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. “We have the best entertainers from New York , Hollywood , and Las Vegas perform here,” the Manager says.
“But we didn’t go to any of those shows,” the husband said.
“Well, we have them, and you could have,” the Manager replied.
No matter what amenity the Manager mentioned, the husband replied, “But we didn’t use it!”
The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the husband gave up and agreed to pay. As he didn’t have the check book, he asked his wife to write the check. She did and gave it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when he looks at the check. “But ma’am, this is made out for only $50.00.”
“That’s correct. I charged you $300.00 for sleeping with me,” she replied.
“But I didn’t!” exclaims the Manager.
“Well, too bad, I was here, and you could have.”
Don’t mess with senior citizens….. They didn’t get there by being stupid.
Animals Are Not So Dumb And This Is Why. [via]
See what this rescued dog was hiding!
Charice Pempengco Sings All By Myself, See If She Nailed It.
We believe that smart ideas can turn the city into a better place. Like a dancing traffic light that makes people wait and watch rather than walk through the red light.
Dancing Traffic Signal.
Such an great idea. Share this very cool video by clicking below.
Woman Saves Two Dogs From Death. [via]
Run a sharp knife under hot water and cut a checkerboard one inch deep in the ice cream.
You will be able to scoop out the ice cream much easier with a scooper!
most-gone jar of Nutella with ice cream.
Ultimate Ice Cream Hacks. (17 Hacks)